Fitness & Nutrition

Gym Types

I am a people watcher.  Some people think I come off as unapproachable or even shy.  I’m neither of these things.  I look unapproachable because God gave me a face that looks mean if I’m not smiling.  And I’m not shy.  I am an analyzer.  I watch people and I listen to them and then I decide if I want to be friendly with them or not.  So again, I am a people watcher.  Take me anywhere and I can find entertainment in my surroundings.  Today happened to be the gym.  Let’s be honest, the treadmill is extremely boring.  Next time you go to the gym and want to get off whatever machine you are on, play “I spy” and find these people.  It’s fascinating to watch them!

 

1. The watcher: This is me.  If you look at me, this is what I am doing.  I literally look at every single person in the room and watch what they are doing.  Usually, my intentions aren’t to judge.  It is because I am soooo bored that I need to see what other people do to keep me occupied.  I watch peoples’ routines, their reps, their weights, I try to learn things or figure out why someone is doing something specific if I don’t know what it is.  I also take notice of the dead bugs in the light fixtures, the dust on the fans, the hairs on the floor.  My strategy to make it through a workout that I am not into is to pretty much absorb everything around me.

2. The Pretender:  I don’t know why these people come to the gym.  This person happened to be next to me today.  She never broke a sweat .  She stopped 3 times during my 10 minute warm up to talk to the phone.  And the matters she was discussing weren’t pressing.  Of course I was rude and listened to her conversation.  She was rude by having it right next to me while I’m trying to people watch, so what am I supposed to do? 😉 Sometimes I think the pretenders may just be lonely and they go to the gym because there’s nothing else for them to do.  Then I feel sad for them and less annoyed that they’re wandering aimlessly or effortlessly taking up a machine.

3. The Pacer:  Sometimes I think these people are giving themselves pep talks in their heads for an hour.  Usually, the pacer is a man who is lifting weights.  Maybe we should say, prepping to lift weights.  They do a couple reps of some ridiculously heavy weight, get up angry, and wander for about 5 minutes.  Or they stare at themselves in the mirror.  I guess they’re trying to see if their muscles grew instantly like a chia pet? Either that or they’re spouting of hateful chants in their heads to try and get angry enough to attempt the weight again.  Their form is usually all wrong and they do weird things like headstand push-ups, but can only do 1 or 2 and I sometimes wonder why they bother?

4. The Self Motivator:  You will literally see these people muttering to themselves before and after an exercise.  Do not confuse this with the singer.

5. The Singer:  The person who is trying soooo hard not to sing along with a great song on their ipod.  Yes, this is me 70% of the time I’m doing cardio.

6. The “Trainer”:  These people usually form their own little groups and have fancy notebooks and things of that nature.  Sometimes they even chime into your workout and try to suggest things to you.  Seriously? I know how to lunge.  I don’t need you trying desperately to find a guinea pig to practice your new Self magazine workout on.  Thanks though.  Mind you, they are not really a trainer.

7.  The Performer :  These people have no shame.  They are the women who moan in yoga and pilates and they are the  men who grunt in your ear while you desperately try to do mat work without vomiting.  I assume they also fall into the category of the nudists in the locker room.  Call me a prude, but no, I cannot have a conversation with a naked woman in a gym locker room.  I don’t know where these people were raised, but please-put some clothes on and try to keep your noises to a minimal volume!

8. The Socialists: You see them.  They’re chatting and not sweating.  Yes, I do this sometimes too.  In my and their defense, it is better to be chatty with physical exertion at a minimal level than to be chatty doing nothing at all.

9. The Inattentive Classmates:  These are the people who for some reason choose to participate in a class and follow none of the instructions.  I found myself in this predicament in spinning yesterday.  The girl with bleached blonde, broken hair did not follow a single instruction the instructor gave.  She hovered when she was supposed to be sitting and pushing herself really hard.  She sat when she supposed to hover.  Don’t expect results if you cannot listen.

I know an even “10” would be ideal, but I have no other observations at this time!  Feel free to contribute what you see and if you need to waste time during an agonizing workout, find these people.  It’s extremely entertaining!

 

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2 Comments

  • Reply Meg February 27, 2013 at 2:35 am

    OMG – I am crying again, but because I am laughing so hard. This list is hilarious! I didn’t know you were full of such hidden talents! I am truly impressed!

  • Reply admin March 1, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    Thanks Meg! i’m glad I could make you laugh. That was my goal in writing it. Sometimes I think my sense of humor isn’t funny to others.

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