I hate women.
Most women. And it’s not become I am viscous and antagonistic. I hate them out of pure self defense. Women, individually, are usually sweet. But what is it about them that when you gather them into a group of four or more? They’re terrible. And I just don’t get it. I am constantly evaluating myself and thinking, “it must be me. I must come off as a b*tch.” But it’s not me. Sometimes, I can honestly say that I feel like I am being targeted.
So you’re not lost, let me paint the picture.
Ana is in Girl Scouts. I pray often that she won’t want to do it next year. Why? Because it is a constant reminder that I don’t do enough, which is a lie, but it is inadvertently implied by the other scouts’ moms. Do you know that there are moms there that are apparently still irritated that I didn’t work enough cookie booths? Why do I think this? Oh, just from a little bit of attitude that I got from another mom at the one booth I did work and the fact that they completely shun me when I’m at a meeting, like I was tonight. What bothers me about people is that they never try to figure out why something is the way it is. Like “why” I didn’t do more cookie booths, even though I explained it to our leader. I had my children every other weekend and on my weekends we were skiing, which mind you, is an expensive sport in equipment, time, and tickets. The opposing weekends they were with their dad who was only seeing them on those weekends during the entire month. The point is, there are situations that are not public for everyone’s business and rather than judge a person for what you label as selfishness, maybe you should consider that there are variances that you are not aware of.
Here’s another example. A woman down the street, in our troop asked months ago if we would like to carpool. It was one of those suggestions that just had no follow through. So, a few weeks ago, I contacted her. She was strange about it (even though she is the one who approached me with the whole idea), but we carpooled twice. Then last week she said that she would be running late so don’t pick up her daughter. And then, as if almost magically, she was there before me and stumbling over her words to say why she was there. I didn’t really care. I was just trying to be nice. Today, I texted her saying I could pick up her daughter if she wanted me to and she said, “I think it would be easier to drive separately this week.” Ok. Whatever. Maybe it would be easier. Maybe she was out and about. Or, maybe she is just mean. Do you know she completely ignored me at the meeting, dodging any type of eye contact? Seriously.
What I just don’t understand is how grown women can act like petty, stupid teenagers. Sometimes I feel like life is like highschool with bank accounts. I know that I have a mean face. I know this. Trust me. People have told me my entire life to “smile” because I look mean. Well I do just that. I go to these events, plaster a smile to my face, try to be as social as possible (when not shunned), and end up feeling awkward and horrible.
I have three best friends. They have been my best friends for half of my life and they are good, moral, amazing women. I am thankful that I don’t need to create any new friendships, but what baffles me is the behavior of grown, adult women. It is just embarrassing.